Overcoming Past Patterns

The first chapter of a series, a heartfelt exploration of overcoming past patterns and triggers, set against the backdrop of a mountain ascent.

This entry is part of a series on “The Hero’s Journey from Trauma to Freedom”: Prologue: The Intentional Invitation. 1. Overcoming Past Patterns. 2. Meeting the Catalyst. 3. Crossing into the Unknown. 4. Rediscovering the Inner Landscape…

“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.”
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

On a Christmas Day, I embarked on an unforgettable journey, both physically and emotionally. Foregoing the traditional family gathering and gift exchanges, I chose instead to hike up the towering Corcovado Mountain in Rio de Janeiro, its summit crowned by the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue, arms spread in an eternal embrace of humanity.

As I began the steep ascent in the sweltering heat of summer, my heart brimmed with determination. I posed a burning question to the Universe, one that had gnawed at my soul:

Why do I keep repeating the same patterns in my life?
Am I trapped in an endless loop, fated to relive the same struggles repeatedly?

Little did I know, the answer I sought would reveal itself slowly over the next year, leading me to confront my deeply-rooted beliefs, to unravel many layers of cultural conditioning.

It felt like penance, choosing to walk for hours along the steep mountain trail, when more convenient transportation options were available. But this was an initiation. It was the initiation to a deeper connection with the unexamined aspects of myself, setting the intention to unwind the patterns that dominated my life.

A moment of divine serenity upon reaching the summit of my hike, as the sun crafts a natural halo, symbolizing hope and renewal.

Hardly anyone hikes up that trail in the heat of summertime and especially because of the potential danger of petty thieves along the way. So, it was a surprise that halfway up, and at a particularly challenging juncture, I encountered what now seems like an angel on the trail. Her name was Loveleen. Together, we assisted each other up the mountain, sharing the path and a connection that felt as profound as it was unexpected. Shortly after reaching the summit, she left to catch a plane back home. Her unusual yet evocative name and our brief encounter felt laden with synchronicity and an unexplainable magic, as if the Universe itself had extended a hand to me.

Awareness of Triggers and Patterns

As I climbed the mountain, I realized I was like a moth drawn to a flame, finding myself repeatedly drawn to situations in my life that, in many ways, echoed my past experiences. This cycle, as unconscious as it was familiar, became a comfort zone, a home, enclosing me within a box of repeating patterns.

Despite the variety of these situations, personal or professional, the core patterns remained consistent and frustratingly inevitable. I found myself justifying an attitude of blame towards the external world, casting myself in the role of a perpetual victim to the actions of others. Life seemed to unfold "to me," rather than "for me" or "through me," with relationships cycling through a predictably wearying loop.

Coming face to face with these patterns over the next year was like shining a light into a darkened room. Suddenly, the dusty corners of my habits and beliefs were exposed, one by one. This revelation, though daunting, broke the shackles of denial that had kept me confined. It was a gateway to transformation, revealing a path forward that was as liberating as it was challenging.

The Spiral of Growth

In the quiet moments of my healing journey, I felt as though I were walking a path shaped by the geometry of nature—a spiral, not unlike those found in the unfolding petals of a rose, the curves of nautilus shells, or the shapes of galaxies.

I ventured deeper into my own heart, unearthing the wisdom hidden beneath layers of pain and memory. Each loop brought me closer to the core of my being, where the echoes of past hardships lay waiting to be acknowledged, understood, and ultimately, transformed.

It was as if my life’s challenges, those repeating patterns and triggers born from old wounds, were not barriers but rather sacred invitations to growth. They were part of a larger, divine pattern waiting to be seen and acknowledged—a dance of light and shadow, where every setback was a step forward in disguise.

This spiral embodies the concept of growth and change, illustrating how what once weighed us down can become the very thing that lifts us. It's a reminder that through awareness and understanding, our greatest challenges can transform into our most profound strengths.

Within this sacred spiral, I learned to see my struggles not as endless cycles of suffering but as the rhythms of a deeper healing process. Every turn revealed a new layer of myself, each insight a beam of light illuminating the path ahead. The journey was not just about healing but about rediscovering the wholeness that had always been within me, obscured by the clouds of past hurt.

Now, looking back, I see this journey not as a separate path but as an integral part of my life’s journey. The spiral of healing was my pilgrimage to the heart of who I am, a journey back to myself, guided by the subtle, powerful geometry of the universe which was manifested in the patterns I experienced.

Each step on this path, each moment of insight, felt like a homecoming—a return to a place of peace and strength that had always been waiting for me. This spiral, this sacred dance of becoming, taught me that the deepest healing comes from embracing every part of ourselves, from the shadows to the light.

From Burden to Wings

My journey began in the quiet spaces of self-reflection, along that mountain trail. Once I reached the summit and gazed upon the towering statue, with its sunlit halo, a sense of peace prevailed. I realized transformation would unfold not at once but gradually, with the grace of angel wings.

The year that followed was filled with moments of realization—deep, meta-aware insights into my being—each a step on a path away from the turmoil within. I learned to notice the onset of stress, anxiety, or fear, and to see the patterns of behavior that ensued. This new awareness marked my awakening, the pivotal shift guiding me toward a better existence.

This profound, deeply personal journey is about breaking free from reactive behaviors and harmful patterns. It's about seeing the world through new eyes, discovering freedom in fresh perspectives.

What once burdened me, the heavy chains of my past and cyclical behaviors, transformed into strength. This strength allowed me to recognize and alter my patterns and triggers, choosing to respond with intention, rather than react out of habit.

After this first step of wanting to break free from repeated patterns, a mentor awaits—a guide ready to light our path with wisdom. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. It’s an encounter that deepens the journey of transformation and enlightenment, which we’ll explore in the next post.

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If my journey resonates with you, and you feel the stirrings of curiosity to explore the landscapes of your own patterns, I would be honored to accompany you. We’ll co-create a space of support and understanding, where we can share insights, challenges, and victories.

Each step, with its challenges and revelations, brings us closer to a state of peace and wholeness we might once have thought impossible. Welcome to your journey; it’s time to take the first step.

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Our journey continues here: