Reawakening Wonder
What happens when we go back and offer the love, guidance, and empowerment our childhood selves so desperately needed?
This entry is part of a series on “The Hero’s Journey from Trauma to Freedom”: Prologue: The Intentional Invitation. 1. Overcoming Past Patterns. 2. Meeting the Catalyst. 3. Crossing into the Unknown. 4. Rediscovering the Inner Landscape. 5. Meeting the Inner Child…
Have you ever felt called to explore the profound mysteries that shape who you are? I know I have, and writing has been a powerful ally on this path.
That's why I'm here, sharing these words with you. This is a space for me to voice the thoughts and experiences that have left marks on my soul, a space to give voice to whispers that often go unheard. Who knows, maybe this series of posts will blossom into a full-fledged book one day. This is my exploration of the inner content that seeks to be expressed. It's a space where I can discover the universal themes of my personal journey.
Apart from the vulnerability, writing about healing goes beyond sharing knowledge. It's alchemical, a catalyst for transformation. I suspect that many of you understand this process.
So, let's set out on this path together. In previous posts, we've taken bold steps, setting intentions, finding mentors, and bravely diving into the depths of our past experiences.
Today, we take a gentle yet profound step forward: meeting our inner child.1
Now, I know the concept of an "inner child" might sound a bit mysterious or woo-woo at first. But stick with me here, because this idea is deeply rooted in the reality of who we are. Your inner child represents your earliest experiences and emotions – the innocence, the joys, the fears, and those first moments of bewilderment that helped shape your perception of the world.
This part of your psyche isn't just a metaphor; it's a vivid, integral aspect of your being, one that holds the keys to freedom from past situations.
Take a moment and imagine a younger version of yourself. Maybe you're five or six years old, or even younger, at a time when the world seemed vast and your emotions were fully expressed. Picture this small version of you as someone real and present within your heart, someone who has been with you through your triumphs and trials.
Why is meeting this inner child so crucial on our path to healing?
Because within this younger self lie the unprocessed emotions of our past – the joys and sorrows that we may have forgotten but which still influence us profoundly. Connecting with your inner child can help you understand the root of your fears, your hesitations, and even your deepest desires. It's about acknowledging where you've come from, so you can better navigate where you're going.
But our journey isn't just about revisiting old wounds for the sake of memory alone. No, we're going back to offer compassion, understanding, and maybe even a little fun to those versions of ourselves who need it most. By doing so, we begin to heal not just the past, but also our present selves, allowing us to move forward with a fuller, freer heart.
As we rediscover these memories and explore techniques to engage with your inner child (see footnotes), remember to make it a safe space. You're not alone on this journey. Find support if you feel called to do so, and continue with kindness and courage, embracing the joyful parts of our discovery as much as the challenging ones.
Early Childhood Experience
One of my earliest memories is etched so vividly in my mind, as if it happened just yesterday. I can picture myself standing there, small and uncertain, in the familiar confines of my childhood bedroom. It was a space that felt like a safe haven at that time, nestled between my bed and closet. It’s were I found refuge. On that particular day, the air was thick with tension, a palpable silence that lingered like the aftermath of a storm.
I was around five or six years old, still so young and innocent. My father had just yelled at me, his booming voice cutting through the air like a knife. The details of what provoked his outburst have faded with time, but the feelings that washed over me in that moment remain crystal clear. I felt betrayed, utterly confused, and overwhelmed by a profound sense of aloneness. A thousand questions raced through my mind – what had I done wrong? Why was I being scolded in a place that was supposed to be my sanctuary, by my parents? The injustice of it all left me reeling, searching for answers that never came.
As I look back on that memory, I can see my younger self with startling clarity, as if I'm transported back to that very room. I see the bewildered eyes staring back at me, searching for answers. I see the slumped shoulders of a child trying to make sense of something that he shouldn't have had to make sense at all. This moment, though seemingly small in the grand scheme of things, was significant to me. It was one of those core memories that began to shape my inner child, teaching me that even the sanctity of home could harbor uncertainty and that the people who were supposed to love me most could also be the source of anguish.
Adolescent Trials
Fast forward a few years, and the scenery of my life had shifted dramatically. At eleven years old, my parents had separated, and my mother and I moved to Miami, to join her mother. This new environment was a world away from everything I had known, and the challenges I faced felt insurmountable at times.
My grandmother, a warm yet formidable presence, had made her way to Miami from Cuba, where she was born. But her roots stretched even further back, to Finland, where her own parents had emigrated from in the early 1900s. I can see now that the various cultural layers of my family were rich and complex, but for a child trying to find his place in the world, they only added to the sense of confusion and alienation I already felt.
With a Brazilian father, a Finnish mother, born in France, and having lived in five different countries by the age of eleven, I was what's known as a third culture kid - someone who spent their formative years traversing multiple cultures. As a result, I couldn't help but feel like an outsider everywhere I found myself. In a world that valued flags and patriotism, where could I truly claim to be from? This constant sense of displacement and not fully belonging to any one place only compounded the struggles I faced as I transitioned into the American school system.
The next few years, from ages eleven to thirteen, were particularly challenging. Not only was I a grade ahead of my peers, but I was also the youngest in my class – a gap that felt huge at that age, even if it was just a year's difference. Couple that with my limited English skills and complete lack of knowledge about American sports (which seemed to be the social currency among my classmates), and you had a recipe for feeling like an outcast.
Thankfully, during those tumultuous years, an unlikely ally emerged in the form of the school bully. Surprisingly, he took me under his wing, offering me protection and a sense of belonging that I had so desperately craved, as an only child. It was a time of conflicting emotions – feeling both alienated from the world around me and yet finally finding a sense of acceptance, even if it came from an unexpected source: a bully to others and a friend to me.
Each of these stages in my life contributed to the creation of my inner children – one around five years old, the other around eleven or twelve. These experiences taught me about resilience, about adapting to new environments, and about finding havens of safety in the most unexpected of places. These weren't just mere memories; they were key moments that revealed core wounds and situations that profoundly impacted the course of my life. But in revisiting them, something remarkable happened – it was as if I had tunneled back through time itself.2
By spending time with these inner children, I was able to bend the fabric of reality and mold their futures. When I reparent them in the present, I change the trajectory of their lives decades ago. I can show them what they needed to say and do in those pivtal moments, empowering them with the self-determination they had lacked at the time.
Even though they didn't stand up for themselves or find their voices back then, by revisiting those memories and offering guidance, it was as if they had. Their inner strength, long muted, could finally be expressed – not through some mystical quantum entanglement, but through a dimensional leap across time itself.
It’s like to listening to my wiser, elder self speaking directly to me today, imparting wisdom and compassion. This meditative act of reparenting, of showering my inner children with the love and understanding they craved, is deeply healing and transformative.
But it also meant something even more profound: those children within me had regained their freedom, their sovereignty. They were now welcome to show up fully in my present day life, whether it was joining me on a bike ride, indulging in a fun movie, or engaging in open, authentic relating with friends. Their innocence, their joy, their curiosity – all the beautiful qualities that had been suppressed – could finally blossom once more, in safety and freedom.
Looking Ahead
Through meditation, playful reconnection, and heartfelt dialogue with our inner selves, we create unique healing that mends past fragments and enriches our lives today. By caring for our inner child, we arm ourselves with strength and compassion. This process is key in our path to wholeness and freedom, reconnecting us with our initial innocence and capacity for wonder.
Let's pause to appreciate the strides we've taken on this journey of self-discovery. By acknowledging and nurturing our inner child, we've set out on a path that goes far beyond revisiting the past. We have embraced the experiences that have sculpted us, reclaiming the innocence and wonder at the core of who we truly are.
In the next part, we'll shine a light on aspects of ourselves that linger in the shadows. We won't be going into any abyss. Instead, we'll stride forward with the same spirit of openness, empathy, and courage that has guided us thus far.
Now that we've connected with that pure, unbridled part of our beings, we're equipped to face whatever lies ahead with resilience and self-compassion. The path may wind and twist, but we'll navigate it with wisdom, grace, and authenticity.
Each step along the way reveals another layer of our true selves – a homecoming to the wholeness that has been awaiting our rediscovery. This journey promises profound growth, healing, and transformation.
May you carry the light of your inner child wherever you go, guiding the way toward your most authentic expression of a fulfilled life.
Are you ready to step into your own profound journey of self-discovery and healing?
I'm passionate about guiding you toward your most authentic and empowered self. Drawing from Internal Family Systems, Jungian archetypes, dreamwork, and more, I create a safe space for you to explore the depths of your inner world and unlock your full potential. Whether you're seeking to heal from past wounds, cultivate greater self-compassion, or simply live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, I'm here to support you every step of the way.
If you're feeling called to dive deeper into this work, I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me. This is an opportunity for us to connect one-on-one and co-create approaches to help you achieve your unique goals.
Our journey continues here:
Engaging with the Inner Child
There are so many powerful ways to connect with that innocent, wide-eyed part of yourself that has been patiently waiting all these years. Each technique is designed to soothe and deepen your understanding of the child within.
Meditation, for instance, can be an incredibly healing practice. Close your eyes and allow yourself to slip into a quiet, tranquil state. Visualize yourself at a younger age, revisiting a setting where your emotions ran rampant and uninhibited. As you breathe deeply into this vision, imagine extending a hand to that younger version of you, offering unconditional support and understanding, free of judgment or criticism.
Sometimes, the simplest joys can be the most profound. Why not try immersing yourself in the games and pastimes you once cherished as a child? Whether it's an imaginative round of make-believe, the satisfying clack of marbles colliding, or the rhythmic sound of a jump rope hitting the pavement, these activities have a magical way of reigniting that spark of pure, unadulterated joy and curiosity that came so effortlessly in our youth.
Or perhaps you'd prefer a more direct approach – a heartfelt conversation with your inner child, as if they were sitting right beside you. Ask them about their fears, their wildest dreams, the little things that made them light up with happiness. Listen intently, without judgment or agenda, and respond with the kind of kindness, empathy, and gentle guidance you wish you'd received at that age.
The benefits of developing this deep connection are vast and transformative. By allowing ourselves to relive and reshape our childhood experiences through a lens of compassion, we can begin to heal those old wounds. You might find yourself feeling lighter, less weighed down by the situations of the past.
But it goes beyond that. Imagine the pure, unbridled joy of taking your inner child along on a leisurely bike ride, the warm sun on your faces and the wind in your hair. Or savoring their favorite ice cream flavor together, relishing each velvety bite as if you were experiencing it for the first time. These seemingly simple moments have the power to rekindle that long-forgotten sense of wonder and appreciation for life's simplest pleasures – qualities that tend to get buried beneath the heaviness of adulthood.
On a deeper level, nurturing your inner child can profoundly impact how you navigate the challenges and relationships of the present day. By developing a deeper well of self-empathy and compassion, you'll find yourself better equipped to extend that same understanding to others, cultivating more authentic, meaningful connections.
And the long-term benefits? Well, those are nothing short of life-changing. A consistent practice of engaging with your inner child can fundamentally alter how you approach personal growth, how you heal from past pains, and how you show up in your most important relationships. It's a journey of profound transformation, of rediscovering the truth of who you are beneath all the layers of conditioning and wounding.
To start building a connection with your inner child, I suggest a simple yet profound journaling exercise:
1 Find a Quiet Space: Choose a comfortable and quiet place where you won't be disturbed.
2 Relax and Reflect: Spend a few minutes in quiet reflection or meditation. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to relax.
3 Visualize: Picture yourself at a younger age. Try to remember what you looked like, what you enjoyed, and how you felt during this period.
4 Write a Letter: Begin writing a letter to this younger version of yourself. You might start with something like, "Dear [Your Name], I remember when you..." and recount a specific memory.
5 Express Compassion and Understanding: Acknowledge the feelings and experiences of your younger self. Offer words of comfort, encouragement, or advice.
6 Ask Questions: Pose questions to your inner child that you might be curious about. What did they need the most? What brought them joy?
7 Listen and Respond: Allow yourself to respond naturally, either through continued writing or through a mental conversation. Be open to any emotions or thoughts that arise.
8 Close with Affection: Conclude your letter with a statement of support and love. Reassure your inner child that you are there for them now.
This exercise can be the beginning of a rewarding journey towards self-discovery and healing. By regularly engaging in such practices, you create a compassionate inner dialogue that can help heal past wounds and influence your current life in positive ways.