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Hannah Violette's avatar

Oh, my friend, how I understand what you're saying. Not because I've been through the same thing, but because I live something similar - as the wife of a PTSD riddled veteran who himself came from a severely attachment disordered background, with layers upon layers of ancestral truama - I've spent years as an MSW diving into the nature of personality disorder, where it comes from, the nuances that define domestic violence (and also what its not), deciding for myself where my own boundaries are and why they look different than the textbooks, how my own patterns add to, change, and improve (or not) our relationship, how to make it all work in my own life...and I've spent years doing this, only to realize that at the end of the day, I am making my own choices and shaping my reality in so doing. We've probably watched all the same videos, LOL!

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Alex de Carvalho's avatar

Hannah, oh wow, yes, I think we’ve definitely been down the same rabbit holes!

What you shared really touched me. I love how you’ve taken all that learning and turned it into something deeply personal, but about what actually works for you, in your life, in your relationship. That’s the real work, right? Making sense of the mess with compassion, boundaries, and a sense of agency.

Thanks for dropping this thoughtful reflection, it means a lot to feel this kind of resonance.

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Hannah Violette's avatar

Alex, I’m glad we could connect here.

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